Because someone had to.
1. Joe Flacco – Sam The Eagle Joe Flacco - Sam The Eagle

2. RGIII – Rowlf The Dog RGIII - Rowlf The Dog

Not to mention RGIII is a division rival with Michael Vick

3. Ben Roethlisberger – The Bread Monster Ben Roethlisberger - The Bread Monster

4. Sam Bradford – Bull Sam Bradford - Bull

5. Mark Sanchez – Kermit The Frog Mark Sanchez - Kermit The Frog

6. Cam Newton – Fozzie Bear Cam Newton - Fozzie Bear

7. Ryan Fitzpatrick – Behemouth Ryan Fitzpatrick - Behemouth

8. Brandon Weeden – Rizzo the Rat Brandon Weeden - Rizzo the Rat

9. Aaron Rodgers – Chester Rat Aaron Rodgers - Chester Rat

10. Jay Cutler – The Newsman Jay Cutler - The Newsman

11. Andrew Luck – Howard Tubman Andrew Luck - Howard Tubman

12. Matt Cassel – Timmy Monster Matt Cassel - Timmy Monster

13. Andy Dalton – Luncheon Counter Monster Andy Dalton - Luncheon Counter Monster

14. Tom Brady – Pepe The King Prawn Tom Brady - Pepe The King Prawn

15. Jake Locker – Crazy Harry Jake Locker - Crazy Harry

16. Ryan Tannehill – Beaker Ryan Tannehill - Beaker

17. Matthew Stafford – Sweetums Matthew Stafford - Sweetums

18. Christian Ponder – Darci Christian Ponder - Darci

19. Matt Schaub – Caveman Matt Schaub - Caveman

20. Peyton Manning – Johnny Fiama Peyton Manning - Johnny Fiama

21. Michael Vick – Jo Beth Garfdoohoo Michael Vick - Jo Beth Garfdoohoo

22. Blane Gabbert – Nate Leakey Blane Gabbert - Nate Leakey

23. Alex Smith – Bats Alex Smith - Bats

24. Josh Freeman – Meepzorp Josh Freeman - Meepzorp

25. Tony Romo – Scooter Tony Romo - Scooter

26. Matt Ryan – Gertha Matt Ryan - Gertha

27. Carson Palmer – Animal Carson Palmer - Animal

28. Kevin Kolb – The Weather Guy Kevin Kolb - The Weather Guy

29. Philip Rivers – Angry Miss Piggy Philip Rivers - Angry Miss Piggy

30. Russell Wilson – The Procrastinator Russell Wilson - The Procrastinator

(Updated)

31. Drew Brees – Gonzo Drew Brees - Gonzo

32. Eli Manning – Eli Manning Eli Manning - Eli Manning